Raw Deal

Author: Roman

My story starts in Norfolk, Nebraska in June of 2009. My lease with John Christner Trucking was terminated on June 12, and so I returned to Omaha, Nebraska to be with my second wife. She wanted me to get off the road and to be with her. I didn’t really want to be with her because she was unwilling to deal with certain issues in her life, so we divorced, and I made my way to Norfolk (for the third time) and got hired on with a trucking outfit that is owned by a close friend of mine. Another friend wanted to set me up with a young woman she knew. I agreed to provide her with my phone number, and about a week later, this girl contacted me. She was 38 years of age. We talked on the phone for several weeks, and about a week before I met this girl in person, I met with her mother. Everything seemed honest enough, and so I met the girl in person on August 1, 2009. We seemed to hit it off right off the bat.

We fell in love with one another, and even made future plans for our lives together, even deciding to be married, and I would formally adopt her two sons, whose fathers were absent from their lives. I even made arrangements with another friend to rent a house in Norfolk, on a really good rent-to-own deal where the two-bedroom home would have cost me only $25,000. That’s when I believe the trouble began.

The girl wanted me to have her mother move in with us. From what I learned about her mother, this woman was a very evil person. She was about to be evicted from her home. I really didn’t want my girlfriend’s mother moving in with us, given what I had learned about her mother’s living habits. But, being the generous and compassionate human being I normally am, I just couldn’t say no. So I agreed to have my girlfriend’s mother come live with us, but under some very strict conditions. When her mother found out about these conditions, she balked. Then, I believe that my girlfriend and her mother came up with a plan to drive me out of my own home.

On November 13, 2009, my girlfriend was not feeling well, so she left me to take care of her two sons, aged 2 and 8 at the time. Her 8-year-old son started acting up by throwing things around the house, and, rather than spanking her son, I pulled on his ear to quiet him down. As he was hollering, his mom woke up, and he cried to his mom that I was pulling on his ear. She replied to him, “And your point being?”. Then she took him into the bedroom, and I believe she was spanking him good, because I could hear him hollering and crying, but I don’t know for sures, because the door was closed. She and her son came back out to the living room about ten minutes later. Her son had finally quieted down, and my girlfriend and I went to the kitchen, smoked some cigarettes, and talked some more before she finally decided to go back to bed. I stayed up to watch television, but fell asleep on the couch about a half-hour later. She had supposedly taken some medication for her back before she went to bed, but I didn’t see her take anything at that time.

I woke up at about 1:00 a.m. and went to join my girlfriend in bed. I slept with her the way I always did; we would fool around, and would have sexual intercourse together before we finally fell asleep. This time was different, because she got upset with me for not wearing a condom. I was bewildered, wondering to myself why it was a problem now when it wasn’t before. Later that morning, I had my girlfriend take me back to my truck so I could go back to work. The next day, as I was driving through Ohio, my girlfriend calls me and tells me that I had violated her. Now I was really upset. A couple of days later, when I was in Terre Haute, Indiana, I wrote a letter to my girlfriend to apologize for taking advantage of her. I had hoped to save our relationship, which is why I wrote the letter. I came back home a few days later, and asked her if she wanted me to just move out. She said no, and I thought we were going to work things out. But I saw no effort on her part to do that, and then, about a week before Christmas of 2009, I told her that we needed to move forward from this, that I saw no progress. She then screamed,”You raped me! You raped me!” She then proceeded to tell me that her mom wanted to see me go to prison, that her dad was going to “shoot my ass” if I ever set foot on his property in Vicksburg, Mississippi, and that I apparently pissed off many of her friends in Norfolk. She then said she was going to make it impossible for me to go around my closest friends in Norfolk. In short, she effectively blackmailed me out of my own house. I spent Christmas of that year working over the road.

Just before New Year’s Eve, my girlfriend sent me a text message demanding I give her an eviction notice. I was smart enough to have a local attorney draw it up for me and have it delivered to her. It was at that point that she FINALLY decided to go to the police. The Norfolk Police Department drew up a warrant for my arrest on the charge of 1st-degree sexual assault, a Class 2 felony in the state of Nebraska. I turned myself in to the police on January 27, 2010.

I spent the next 96 days in jail in Madison, Nebraska, trying to prove my innocence. I was to go before a jury trial on May 3, 2010. My public defenders told me that, based on the jury pool selection, I would have lost at trial, would have faced at least 4-8 years in prison, would have been sent to the Norfolk Regional Center for sex offender treatment upon my release from prison, to be released only upon the word of a doctor, then would have to register as a sex offender for life, and then I probably would have put a bullet in my brain and ended it all. I really didn’t want this to go as far as a jury trial, because I just wanted this nightmare to be over. I was offered lesser charges (criminal attempt-2nd degree sexual assault), a Class 3A felony, sentencing 0-5 years at the discretion of the judge. I accepted the plea deal and returned to my pod, telling everyone there,”It’s over.”

About ten minutes later, one of the public defenders I spoke with earlier called me back into the conference room to tell me that there was going to be a continuance on my trial, that later on I would be given a polygraph examination, and that they were going to try and get the charges reduced to a misdemeanor. I would also be released from jail on a $50,000 signature bond. Eventually the charges did get reduced to a misdemeanor, to which I pled no contest. I did get my job back, but in waiting for my sentencing hearing to take place, I made a series of mistakes. One of those mistakes was getting involved with a girl online who was part of a Nigerian romance scam. I got scammed for $950. I was having problems at work, and was under a lot of stress at the time. My stepdaughter died in mid-July. Nebraska State Patrol ruled her death a suicide, but my first ex-wife and my kids felt the death was was rather suspicious, because her husband had been discovered secretly videotaping my daughter in the bathroom, and then posted the pictures on the Internet. We believe my stepdaughter was killed for what she found out. Then, a week later, my grandmother, who lived in central Washington state, had died at the age of 93. I didn’t attend the funeral because I was not welcomed there. I’m still upset about it, because I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to my grandma.

I swore I would not get involved in another online relationship, but I did in November of 2010, this time with a girl in Weiser, Idaho. I had planned to move to Idaho anyway, even got things arranged with another trucking outfit in Caldwell, Idaho. This other girl and I were supposed to get married around Christmas. We were supposed to get married in Nebraska. When she didn’t show up on the bus ticket I provided for her, I got really upset, and broke out in these hives all over my body. The hospital in Norfolk said I had body lice. I resigned from my job, packed up all my belongings, and headed for Idaho. I stopped in Twin Falls, Idaho, where my cousin’s father was in the hospital. I went to have my rash checked out again, and I was told it was not body lice, but a form of psoriasis caused by stress. I was prescribed some steroids, which helped in healing me. Then, I went on my way to Weiser to meet this girl.

We spent the day together, and then she proceeded to tell me that her friends were going to run me off because I am a registered sex offender. So I made my way to Nampa and got a motel room for the night. The next day, the girl decided to call off the wedding, because she still had feelings for this one guy. Needless to say, I was extremely upset, and so I made my way to my cousin’s home in Boise. A week later, I met this woman through my cousin. We are still together. Then, a week after that, I went to Caldwell to see about getting hired on. Apparently word got out that I was a sex offender, and the owner of the company decided not to hire me after all. I tried applying with other trucking companies, and they would not hire me for the same reason. I can’t believe that my truck driving career has been ruined by this stigma. I don’t really have any marketable skills, and I can’t go back to school because I have a defaulted student loan, which also makes me ineligible for any federal grants. I really don’t know where to turn anymore. I have sold everything I owned just so I could survive, and even took out a title loan of $500 on my car, for which I don’t even have the money.

Things have gotten so bad that I didn’t get my federal or state income tax refunds this year. I owe $14,000 to the IRS in back taxes, and I owe $8,000 toward back child support in Nebraska. I owe over $17,000 in student loans. Altogether, over $40,000. It has gotten so bad that I have had suicidal thoughts over this last month. I don’t know where to go or what to do anymore. I’ve lost all hope. This has actually been a three-year-long nightmare. I sometimes wonder if God really even cares about my life or what happens to me. I can’t go on like this. I just want this nightmare to end. Where is God when I need Him?

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