I was 18 young dumb and spiraling out of control. My girl friend at the time was 17.We both came from broken homes and were doing drugs.The funny thing is that I never did them before dating her. Me and her had been typical young boy friend girl friend since we were in jr high. We were fighting one night when we were by ourselves. She had cheated on me in our so called relationship. I told her to leave that night. When I did she told me how she had been giving my best friend oral and intercourse. That she had given oral for rides and other favors. I said to who? She replied real smart any one that’s willing to give me something I want. I began yelling at her telling her to leave, cursing and violently pushing her towards the door. She ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I banged on it. No response. I walked away to get my phone. I had enough and was going to call the cops. I began telling her I was going to call the cops. Then she pushed some more. She had some pictures of her and someone having intercourse on her phone and sent them to me from in there. I pushed the door open and grabbed her. I use to carry a knife on my belt. I pulled it out and said since she liked being a whore why don’t you be a whore with me. I yelled and told her she was disgusting and to get out(was not requesting but demanding). She left and called the cops. I was picked up that night. I want to start by saying that what I did was wrong. I have grown a lot. I use to blame her. I don’t any more. I had my actions that I did. I never touched her besides pushing her to leave and grabbing her in the bathroom. I never even wanted to have sex with her in that moment. I wanted to scare her. I was charged with a 3-307(a)Third degree sex offense(threat of force with a weapon). I am very remorseful of what I have done. It is my only criminal charge ever. I am a registered sex offender for the rest of my life. I have no restrictions on kids. Thank God because I have two kids now and a wife. They are my world. I have vowed my whole life to giving them the life I never had. My kids pay the price for my mistake I made out of anger. It breaks me down on a regular basis thinking of it. I own my mistake and it was horrible but I don’t think I should be on a sex offender registry for the rest of my life. I pray to God that one day we find peace. I do understand the need for law enforcement to keep track of offenders. Like I said I am a father. I guess I know in my heart that my threat was that of a idle threat. I am not a threat to any one. I know I shouldn’t be on the list. But how do you get the people to believe me. I never will. I made a mistake did my punishment(probation) and still will spend the rest of my life paying for it. I just wanted to say my story and will most likely never check on it again. I pray every day for my family’s peace, my ex girlfriends peace and my peace.

In 1994 I plea bargained to a 2 to 4 year sentence for sexual abuse in the 1st degree. My victim was my cousin who at the time was 16 years old, and I was 19yrs old. We both were very confused about the feelings we were having for each other hence the term kissing cousins. There was a time when we were alone and we began touching each other in ways a married couple does. In no way at all did we ever have intercourse, but the fact remains we were violating the rules and values of family lines that should never be crossed. After we stopped our rush of feelings from going any further, we acted like what we did was acceptable and went on. My cousin was from a very violent family who did not like their current living conditions. My belief is that they knew about me and my cousins and conspired a way to change it. Three months after our embrace I received a call from a detective who said I needed to come down to the precinct and answer some questions. When I got there they informed me that I was being charged with the rape of my cousin. I was in total shock and disbelief. Yes I admit to the touching and consensual kissing that we did but not rape at all. I was cohered after 6 hours of interrogation by NYPD’s finest to committing the offense of sexual abuse in the first degree. My cousin and her entire family was relocated to a brand new apartment courtesy of me and victim services. Since then having to be registered as a sexual offender with my name, address and photo available to anyone with a computer and a vigilante mind can continue the abuse of me forever. Why should I be put in the same category as violent sexual lifetime offenders when I’m not? Why should I be denied the basic human right of being able to keep a job without being stopped by my offense? Why should I not be able to pick up my daughter from day care because I’m an offender? I am forced to look behind me every day with the fear of someone who has just viewed my profile online? In short I just would like to live my life without being prosecuted forever. Megan’s law makes no distinction between violent sexual offenders and those who committed a tragic minor offense.

My story starts in Norfolk, Nebraska in June of 2009. My lease with John Christner Trucking was terminated on June 12, and so I returned to Omaha, Nebraska to be with my second wife. She wanted me to get off the road and to be with her. I didn’t really want to be with her because she was unwilling to deal with certain issues in her life, so we divorced, and I made my way to Norfolk (for the third time) and got hired on with a trucking outfit that is owned by a close friend of mine. Another friend wanted to set me up with a young woman she knew. I agreed to provide her with my phone number, and about a week later, this girl contacted me. She was 38 years of age. We talked on the phone for several weeks, and about a week before I met this girl in person, I met with her mother. Everything seemed honest enough, and so I met the girl in person on August 1, 2009. We seemed to hit it off right off the bat.

We fell in love with one another, and even made future plans for our lives together, even deciding to be married, and I would formally adopt her two sons, whose fathers were absent from their lives. I even made arrangements with another friend to rent a house in Norfolk, on a really good rent-to-own deal where the two-bedroom home would have cost me only $25,000. That’s when I believe the trouble began.

The girl wanted me to have her mother move in with us. From what I learned about her mother, this woman was a very evil person. She was about to be evicted from her home. I really didn’t want my girlfriend’s mother moving in with us, given what I had learned about her mother’s living habits. But, being the generous and compassionate human being I normally am, I just couldn’t say no. So I agreed to have my girlfriend’s mother come live with us, but under some very strict conditions. When her mother found out about these conditions, she balked. Then, I believe that my girlfriend and her mother came up with a plan to drive me out of my own home.

On November 13, 2009, my girlfriend was not feeling well, so she left me to take care of her two sons, aged 2 and 8 at the time. Her 8-year-old son started acting up by throwing things around the house, and, rather than spanking her son, I pulled on his ear to quiet him down. As he was hollering, his mom woke up, and he cried to his mom that I was pulling on his ear. She replied to him, “And your point being?”. Then she took him into the bedroom, and I believe she was spanking him good, because I could hear him hollering and crying, but I don’t know for sures, because the door was closed. She and her son came back out to the living room about ten minutes later. Her son had finally quieted down, and my girlfriend and I went to the kitchen, smoked some cigarettes, and talked some more before she finally decided to go back to bed. I stayed up to watch television, but fell asleep on the couch about a half-hour later. She had supposedly taken some medication for her back before she went to bed, but I didn’t see her take anything at that time.

I woke up at about 1:00 a.m. and went to join my girlfriend in bed. I slept with her the way I always did; we would fool around, and would have sexual intercourse together before we finally fell asleep. This time was different, because she got upset with me for not wearing a condom. I was bewildered, wondering to myself why it was a problem now when it wasn’t before. Later that morning, I had my girlfriend take me back to my truck so I could go back to work. The next day, as I was driving through Ohio, my girlfriend calls me and tells me that I had violated her. Now I was really upset. A couple of days later, when I was in Terre Haute, Indiana, I wrote a letter to my girlfriend to apologize for taking advantage of her. I had hoped to save our relationship, which is why I wrote the letter. I came back home a few days later, and asked her if she wanted me to just move out. She said no, and I thought we were going to work things out. But I saw no effort on her part to do that, and then, about a week before Christmas of 2009, I told her that we needed to move forward from this, that I saw no progress. She then screamed,”You raped me! You raped me!” She then proceeded to tell me that her mom wanted to see me go to prison, that her dad was going to “shoot my ass” if I ever set foot on his property in Vicksburg, Mississippi, and that I apparently pissed off many of her friends in Norfolk. She then said she was going to make it impossible for me to go around my closest friends in Norfolk. In short, she effectively blackmailed me out of my own house. I spent Christmas of that year working over the road.

Just before New Year’s Eve, my girlfriend sent me a text message demanding I give her an eviction notice. I was smart enough to have a local attorney draw it up for me and have it delivered to her. It was at that point that she FINALLY decided to go to the police. The Norfolk Police Department drew up a warrant for my arrest on the charge of 1st-degree sexual assault, a Class 2 felony in the state of Nebraska. I turned myself in to the police on January 27, 2010.

I spent the next 96 days in jail in Madison, Nebraska, trying to prove my innocence. I was to go before a jury trial on May 3, 2010. My public defenders told me that, based on the jury pool selection, I would have lost at trial, would have faced at least 4-8 years in prison, would have been sent to the Norfolk Regional Center for sex offender treatment upon my release from prison, to be released only upon the word of a doctor, then would have to register as a sex offender for life, and then I probably would have put a bullet in my brain and ended it all. I really didn’t want this to go as far as a jury trial, because I just wanted this nightmare to be over. I was offered lesser charges (criminal attempt-2nd degree sexual assault), a Class 3A felony, sentencing 0-5 years at the discretion of the judge. I accepted the plea deal and returned to my pod, telling everyone there,”It’s over.”

About ten minutes later, one of the public defenders I spoke with earlier called me back into the conference room to tell me that there was going to be a continuance on my trial, that later on I would be given a polygraph examination, and that they were going to try and get the charges reduced to a misdemeanor. I would also be released from jail on a $50,000 signature bond. Eventually the charges did get reduced to a misdemeanor, to which I pled no contest. I did get my job back, but in waiting for my sentencing hearing to take place, I made a series of mistakes. One of those mistakes was getting involved with a girl online who was part of a Nigerian romance scam. I got scammed for $950. I was having problems at work, and was under a lot of stress at the time. My stepdaughter died in mid-July. Nebraska State Patrol ruled her death a suicide, but my first ex-wife and my kids felt the death was was rather suspicious, because her husband had been discovered secretly videotaping my daughter in the bathroom, and then posted the pictures on the Internet. We believe my stepdaughter was killed for what she found out. Then, a week later, my grandmother, who lived in central Washington state, had died at the age of 93. I didn’t attend the funeral because I was not welcomed there. I’m still upset about it, because I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to my grandma.

I swore I would not get involved in another online relationship, but I did in November of 2010, this time with a girl in Weiser, Idaho. I had planned to move to Idaho anyway, even got things arranged with another trucking outfit in Caldwell, Idaho. This other girl and I were supposed to get married around Christmas. We were supposed to get married in Nebraska. When she didn’t show up on the bus ticket I provided for her, I got really upset, and broke out in these hives all over my body. The hospital in Norfolk said I had body lice. I resigned from my job, packed up all my belongings, and headed for Idaho. I stopped in Twin Falls, Idaho, where my cousin’s father was in the hospital. I went to have my rash checked out again, and I was told it was not body lice, but a form of psoriasis caused by stress. I was prescribed some steroids, which helped in healing me. Then, I went on my way to Weiser to meet this girl.

We spent the day together, and then she proceeded to tell me that her friends were going to run me off because I am a registered sex offender. So I made my way to Nampa and got a motel room for the night. The next day, the girl decided to call off the wedding, because she still had feelings for this one guy. Needless to say, I was extremely upset, and so I made my way to my cousin’s home in Boise. A week later, I met this woman through my cousin. We are still together. Then, a week after that, I went to Caldwell to see about getting hired on. Apparently word got out that I was a sex offender, and the owner of the company decided not to hire me after all. I tried applying with other trucking companies, and they would not hire me for the same reason. I can’t believe that my truck driving career has been ruined by this stigma. I don’t really have any marketable skills, and I can’t go back to school because I have a defaulted student loan, which also makes me ineligible for any federal grants. I really don’t know where to turn anymore. I have sold everything I owned just so I could survive, and even took out a title loan of $500 on my car, for which I don’t even have the money.

Things have gotten so bad that I didn’t get my federal or state income tax refunds this year. I owe $14,000 to the IRS in back taxes, and I owe $8,000 toward back child support in Nebraska. I owe over $17,000 in student loans. Altogether, over $40,000. It has gotten so bad that I have had suicidal thoughts over this last month. I don’t know where to go or what to do anymore. I’ve lost all hope. This has actually been a three-year-long nightmare. I sometimes wonder if God really even cares about my life or what happens to me. I can’t go on like this. I just want this nightmare to end. Where is God when I need Him?

Hello my name is Jose and in 1998 I was arrested for having inappropriate sexual contact with a minor. In 1999, I was arrested and convicted of first degree attempted sexual abuse. I was labeled a level 2 sex offender in the state of New York. I will remain on the sex offender registry in my state for life. I lost a great job with benefits and a pension. I lost my house in a foreclosure and had 2 cars repossessed. I was also homeless for a brief period of time.

In 2002, after some help from a very close friend, I decided to enroll in college. In 2006, I earned a Bachelor of Business Administration Degree in Management, graduating Magna Cum Laude. In 2008, I earned a Master of Business Administration Degree in General Management. In 2009, I became a Certified Entrepreneurship Teacher. I am a published author of my autobiography entitled: Poverty and Me.

I am in the process of opening up my own small business consulting firm where I can help ex-offenders become more self-reliant through business ownership. If you are interested in knowing how to open up your own business, please contact me. I do charge a consultation fee however. Life has been difficult since my conviction. The moral of the story is to never give up, and to follow your dreams!

Jose

I would like to think that my story would inspire others: a kid who was sexually abused, who grew up in a divorced family and raised by a mother who was addicted. A gay kid scared to death of this fact and hid behind religion, education and many things to avoid it. Someone who did horrible things, spent a long time in jail, came out with all the odds stacked against him; no money, no history in a community, no real skills. In would like to think that where I am now in spite of all of those things would inspire people to not let their circumstances define them. To say, “Wow! If he can do it so can I! ” but what I am finding is that no one can look at the broad view of it. They only see the label of sex offender and that is it. They even think that I am not worthy of what I have attained. People would prefer a beaten down sad version of me, that any success they feel is at best charity and certainly not worthy of me.

I have tried to inspire people. I do many things, some public and some done in private, to do my part, to offer an example. I would like to think I am generous and caring. I do not have many friends but I like to think they are glad to have me in their lives, but some days, it feels very lonely and very hollow when I feel that it does not matter. It is easy to say things like, “It matters to yourself!” or “Do it because it is the right thing to do.” Have said those things for many years. After a point, after spending soooooo many hours alone, those words can begin to remind you of your aloneness in the world. What good to do any of it if when at the end of the day there is not someone there to share it with? The sad part is that when you do feel inspired, when you do have someone to share with, the greatness of it compels you to act so irrationally. I feel so stupid saying that.

I suppose for some the easy parts are things like dealing with others and for some things like work and so forth are the easy parts. To me succeeding at work and all that is the nuts and bolts of life. No problem if given a chance. But the harder part for me are the relationships we have in life. Very difficult for me to be in relationships of any kind in a way that ends up ok. I end up just expecting the other person to disappear soon. Not a good way to be friends.

The site calls for ” Inspirational Stories”. As I re-read I do not know if I am that. Maybe I am that broken sad guy that people expect but just dressed in nicer clothes and who shaves every day. Or maybe the fact that I see my flaws and yet I still continue on trying to be more and give more despite my flaws, to not hurt people any longer, is what could make me an inspiration to others. Only someone else can answer that question. I do know that no matter what, I will continue on. Just would be nice to share that journey and to not spend so much time wondering if when a flower blooms in the woods and no one is there to see it, does it matter if it blooms at all. Perhaps at the end of it all I will have an answer to that question.

I have married a man who was convicted of a sex offense 13 years ago. He has had no other offenses since this time. He did have sex with a minor, it was consentual, but because of the age he was convicted. He has had his 10 years on the Iowa Registry and is no longer required to register. After I married him DHS came in my life and took my two kids away from me, they are living with their father and I am fighting for their return. DHS claims they are worried about the kids coming home to me because my husband had committed this crime 13 years ago. I do not feel my kids are at risk because my husband has not had any cases against him or committed a crime since that time. I just want my family back. I love my kids very much and do not feel my family should be punished because of one thing many years ago. Where is the justice and why can’t a sex offender live in peace after he has served his time and paid his debt to society? I just want to live the normal, American dream.

As a small girl from the age of 5 until I was 16, I was raped and molested by 7 different boys. My first encounters with the molestation were very simple and there was no sense of wrong. When I was 12 the first full rape took place in a woodshed on a hard plank by my first cousin. He was in his upper teens to early 20′s and as he finished he asked me how it felt. My reply was “Nasty”. He could not understand why I did not like the act nor at the time did I. From that day on I hated sex, and to an extent I still do.

Another of my offenders was one of my brothers who eventually was incarcerated for molesting our niece. He plead guilty and was sentenced to only 5 months in prison. Some may think that the time was just too short a sentence, but in reality that 5 months has led to 13 years of disgrace for our entire family not just the offender. Many people think that only the offender suffers for being placed in prison but the truth is everyone suffers. What about the children of the offender? Are they not considered to need the parent that has offended? I remember wanting my father to be at a picnic with me but he never showed. I caught my first fish but my Dad was not there. It may seem simple to you but to a hurting child who needs their parent it can be devastating.

You might say that had someone done something about my molestations that it would never have happened to my niece, there I must disagree. You see it has been documented that for every known sex offense there are at least 7 unknown offenses committed. In my family that proved to be true. Now don’t blame my parents they had no idea what was going on. They never knew what had happened to me until my brother was caught and I began to get some emotional help. There is no way that I can fully express what I have been through but to one that is there they would understand. My family has suffered for may years and at this present time we rarely even talk or visit each other.

Before John’s incarceration our family was very close and we had family dinners every holiday. It was always a big day with lots of fun had by all. Those days have long since been gone. Now only a few will show up and then stay for only for a short time leaving before the festivities actually begin. I for one want those days back. I miss the freedom felt by my family’s love and comfort. Will it ever return? I do not know. There will be many steps necessary and the first and most important will be forgiveness. Forgiveness is not for the offender but for the victim. Unless we as victims are willing to forgive (not forget) then the offenders have beaten us by destroying our love and hope for a blessed future.

A little over 15 years ago, I went thought a difficult divorce.

My ex-wife, called the police, along with other things she kept trying to get me in trouble with the law, said I had an interest in some of the boys she babysat for.

The police investigated these boys,and told them nothing happened, that I never touched them in any sexual manner.

One of my ex-wife’s friends had a son I watched only once so they could go out one evening when we were married. She and her friend went out leaving me with her 8 yo son, and my daughter, about the same age.

Some time latter, this boy, now 16, got caught masturbating in class, while in school.

While waiting to see the Principal he so called remembered that I should him something. What I showed him I still don’t know.

I was charged in time and arrested for touching this boy.

I was offered probation, but rather took it to trial. Yep, you guessed it, I was found guilty of touching this boy through his clothes in his private area. He sat on the stand and was even asked if I touched his penis, he answered no, but yet I was still found guilty.

I have been out of prison more than 9 years now. I have found work in the fast food industry, even tho I spent 18 years in manufacturing, and spent about one and a half years in college for industrial manufacturing.

I have been fired 3 times since getting out and working in fast food. I won’t mention what ones, since they are about the same.

I worked hard, and was a manager running the store and shifts on a day to day bases. The reasons I have gotten fired is that one company implemented a sex offender policy after I had worked for them a while, I continued working 3 more years until I was fired for this policy. I didn’t know about this policy, nor did they bother to tell me at the time. I was able to win my unemployment case against them, since they knew about my crime prior to hiring me.

Now this last Saturday, it happened again when a customer called and said they seen me on a sex offender web sight.

I also was truthful at my interview this same month, just one year later.

Seems like everything go well for a time, but as soon as someone says the sex offender word, everyone gets crazed, and I get fired.

I’ll never work for a fast food company again.

I have also had to seek mental health counseling from all the issues I have had to deal with.  I tried to kill myself 5 years ago because of the depression I have had.

I don’t know what will happen this time, but I know I will continue counseling, so I don’t go backwards. I want to go forward in life, and thought when I was released from prison, that the worst was over, but I found out that the struggles just began.